A conversation with the nuptial-industrial complex

March 26th, 2008 · Posted by Ariel · Offbeat blog · 6 comments

This post from LJ user theelusiven cracked me up:

The Nuptial-Industrial Complex: Hi! Great to see you! You know, you’ve only been wearing that engagement ring for over a year now. You owe it to your friends to get married soon. They aren’t going to be around forever, you know. You don’t want to wait until you’re a fat old embittered hag of a career woman who can’t pop out the babies anymore, because he’ll leave you for the Emperor’s Club!

Me: ::sigh:: No, not right now. I’m just taking a look at some informal wedding dresses to take a break from deconstructing Article III. Don’t go getting your hopes up.

TNIC: ::grumbles:: Okay! There’s this dress: see how pretty it is, with the flounces! And the train! You’re not a real woman if it’s not bright-white and floor length, and he’ll think you’re so beautiful with that extra few yards of cloth dragging the ground and slowly turning black!

Read the whole hilarious post/conversation. (And yes, I found it in my referral logs. I find a lot of good stuff there. :)


Comments

6 responses to this entry
  • 1

    Rachel

    March 26th, 2008 · 6:35 AM · #

    I love it! Totally hilarious and completely true!

  • 2

    Erin

    March 26th, 2008 · 6:45 AM · #

    I laughed so hard at that that I snorted in the middle of our very quiet university library. Thank you for cheering up my day!

  • 3

    TheElusiveN

    March 26th, 2008 · 9:01 AM · #

    WOW!
    Thank you for cheering up MY day.
    I was going to post it on my OBT blog, but for some reason, the links wouldn’t paste in.
    I just squealed in a law school computer lab.
    How un-lawyerlike.

  • 4

    Laura

    March 26th, 2008 · 10:48 AM · #

    I just read the whole post - sooo funny cause it’s SOOOO true! When I was calling around interviewing ministers for my musical theater/karaoke wedding, I actually had one tell me “Oh, honey…you don’t want to duet into your ceremony. That’s just too much pressure!” When I explained that my fiance and I had done quite a bit of musical theater and were used to that sort of thing, she actually said (in her most uppity-pretentious voice): “Well, I’ve done SEVERAL CELEBRITY weddings and you would not believe how nervous they are. You do NOT want to sing on your wedding day.”

    Um…thanks…CLICK!

    I ended up finding a minister who sang and played guitar and was all down with it - and it was a blast!

    OH - P.S. Nordstroms.com is a great place to find cool, chic, re-wearable dresses. I found a Marilyn Monroe inspired knee length dress for $150. Best part - you can order multiple sizes, try them on at home and return whatever doesn’t work to the store! No pressure and no pushy salespeople forcing a veil on to your head!

  • 5

    Moonspun

    March 26th, 2008 · 11:20 AM · #

    What a great post! Goodness I love people with that great wit…

  • 6

    Kathleen

    March 26th, 2008 · 9:30 PM · #

    “But–but—you’ll look like a whore!”
    OMG I love her!

Leave a comment



Hey vendors! Feel free to participate in the discussion, but know that it is NOT cool to pimp your business name in Offbeat Bride's comment section. Consider joining us as an advertiser instead.

Related posts

Recent forum posts

Popular posts

Recent comments

  • sara-grey: Double ditto on the dress it’s really pretty!
  • weddingpolice: What a lovely couple…and a simple and intimate wedding
  • Thumbelina: With not a wedding in my site, I have become positively addicted to your blog! Fantastic content and...
  • AK: We had much debate on this topic, The songs we chose for those all important special dances were: 1st Dance- Lost...
  • Reba: Welcome back Ariel & Thanks for everything! I’m married and life is back to NoRmAl once again :)