Comments on: Offbeat bridesmaid advice http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:34:02 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Kit http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-14015 Kit Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:29:55 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-14015 "I balked at the fact that we had to BUY our dresses while the groomsmen got to RENT tuxedos." Yeah, I've always wanted to spend $150 on an outfit that I have to return the next day. At worst, a bridesmaids' dress can be taken to a consignment shop, though of course many do tend to run more expensive than $150. "I balked at the fact that we had to BUY our dresses while the groomsmen got to RENT tuxedos."
Yeah, I've always wanted to spend $150 on an outfit that I have to return the next day. At worst, a bridesmaids' dress can be taken to a consignment shop, though of course many do tend to run more expensive than $150.

]]> By: Laura http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-11905 Laura Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:42:42 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-11905 As the MOH in a friend's wedding, I have discovered that the most important things for a bride to consider are: 1) The financial strain that a wedding can put on the bridal party. My friend has been great about this with covering the cost of getting my hair done, and choosing affordable dresses. 2) Actually wanting to spend time with your girls without it being wedding-related. Unfortunately, my friend has not done so well at this one, and I really feel that it could be the beginning of the end of our friendship, as I don't see things improving once she is married and wrapped up in her husband. As the MOH in a friend's wedding, I have discovered that the most important things for a bride to consider are:

1) The financial strain that a wedding can put on the bridal party. My friend has been great about this with covering the cost of getting my hair done, and choosing affordable dresses.

2) Actually wanting to spend time with your girls without it being wedding-related. Unfortunately, my friend has not done so well at this one, and I really feel that it could be the beginning of the end of our friendship, as I don't see things improving once she is married and wrapped up in her husband.

]]> By: EL http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-8147 EL Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:21:38 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-8147 I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a bit and couldn't be more disgusted with how my "friend" the bride is handling things (the wedding, her fiance, etc). I can't wait til I get married (not have a wedding, but get married) so my boyfriend and I can do things right. I'm so glad this site exists - it's reassuring to know that there are sane people who can get married without turning those awful wedding planners into bibles. Thank you! I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a bit and couldn't be more disgusted with how my "friend" the bride is handling things (the wedding, her fiance, etc). I can't wait til I get married (not have a wedding, but get married) so my boyfriend and I can do things right. I'm so glad this site exists – it's reassuring to know that there are sane people who can get married without turning those awful wedding planners into bibles. Thank you!

]]> By: Jaz http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-7308 Jaz Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:17:00 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-7308 I am a soon-to-be-bride and I don't dictate to much to my bridesmaids. Me and my maid of honor picked out her dress and my other for bridesmaids dress too. I picked out their dresses mainly because I do have a vision for my wedding. I did ask for all my bridesmaids opinions on the dresses so that they won't be wearing a dress that they hate. I have asked that they pick out their own shoes in the color black and they can wear their hair anyway that they would like. I sent out an information letter to all of my girls to let them all know everything they need to know out my wedding. My biggest problem truely is I have to my head-strong bridesmaids in my wedding party. They all want to take charge and make sure this day is perfect for me. I, myself, am I more laid back bride and like to roll with the punches. But I do believe that a bride should try her hardest not to get so caught up in little details that won't even matter the day of the wedding and enjoy the planning. Also, don't lose sight of the real improtance of that day which is marrying the man you love. I am a soon-to-be-bride and I don't dictate to much to my bridesmaids. Me and my maid of honor picked out her dress and my other for bridesmaids dress too. I picked out their dresses mainly because I do have a vision for my wedding. I did ask for all my bridesmaids opinions on the dresses so that they won't be wearing a dress that they hate. I have asked that they pick out their own shoes in the color black and they can wear their hair anyway that they would like. I sent out an information letter to all of my girls to let them all know everything they need to know out my wedding. My biggest problem truely is I have to my head-strong bridesmaids in my wedding party. They all want to take charge and make sure this day is perfect for me. I, myself, am I more laid back bride and like to roll with the punches. But I do believe that a bride should try her hardest not to get so caught up in little details that won't even matter the day of the wedding and enjoy the planning. Also, don't lose sight of the real improtance of that day which is marrying the man you love.

]]> By: Jen http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-7267 Jen Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:05:48 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-7267 My sister recently got married, and I ended up dictating her wedding date. She wanted a summer wedding, but because I am living and working in S. Korea I couldn't guarantee that I could come home for the summer. I told her I could come home for February 23rd. She told the bridesmaids to find a black cocktail length dress and she did all our hair and makeup the day of the wedding. She was a pretty kick ass bride! My sister recently got married, and I ended up dictating her wedding date. She wanted a summer wedding, but because I am living and working in S. Korea I couldn't guarantee that I could come home for the summer. I told her I could come home for February 23rd. She told the bridesmaids to find a black cocktail length dress and she did all our hair and makeup the day of the wedding. She was a pretty kick ass bride!

]]> By: NOrA http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-6449 NOrA Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:53:50 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-6449 I'm getting hitched and I told my chicks that they couls would whateva as long as it was deep purple, right. They freakeed out. So, I picked out a site that they can build their own dress with the color i chose, they un-freaked, yay. I did this for a reason. I was un-invited to a wedding b/c i was a unruly bm. I told her to shove the wedding up her ass, basically. Well, atually, I didn;t fit in her scheme of people, body type, look and natural cheerleader, suck-ass that she already had in her group. Her new to be husbnd was my good friend, probably best friend and I matched them up together. She acked me about to choose btn two shoes, picked the worng one. She told me not to gain lbs. not to cut my hair, that i would need to tan and whteva the godess wanted. I can't, can't do that to my friends. I would feel like an asshole. So, i will be paying a portion of their dressed that they can pick out. Taking them out to the City to go shiny shopping. Each have a skill I've asked them to use, like super powers and my girl sarah with nutso tats get to show 'em off. I hink I'm pretty nice with it all, but you can never please everyone. I'm getting hitched and I told my chicks that they couls would whateva as long as it was deep purple, right. They freakeed out. So, I picked out a site that they can build their own dress with the color i chose, they un-freaked, yay. I did this for a reason. I was un-invited to a wedding b/c i was a unruly bm. I told her to shove the wedding up her ass, basically. Well, atually, I didn;t fit in her scheme of people, body type, look and natural cheerleader, suck-ass that she already had in her group. Her new to be husbnd was my good friend, probably best friend and I matched them up together. She acked me about to choose btn two shoes, picked the worng one. She told me not to gain lbs. not to cut my hair, that i would need to tan and whteva the godess wanted. I can't, can't do that to my friends. I would feel like an asshole. So, i will be paying a portion of their dressed that they can pick out. Taking them out to the City to go shiny shopping. Each have a skill I've asked them to use, like super powers and my girl sarah with nutso tats get to show 'em off. I hink I'm pretty nice with it all, but you can never please everyone.

]]> By: p http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-6329 p Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:03:05 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-6329 Having never been a bridesmaid (and not contemplating it in the future), I just wanted to avoid being the "jerk" bride. I thought it would be easy. My maids are both slender and pretty much the same shape. I picked two colors and suggested they go wild with finding dresses they liked. I wanted them to have their own that they'd actually like and wear (but I preferred that they pick the same color if they could agree on it). One gave me a basic shape guideline and claimed one of the colors and the other refused to even look. Guess which one complained about what I ended up picking. Having never been a bridesmaid (and not contemplating it in the future), I just wanted to avoid being the "jerk" bride. I thought it would be easy. My maids are both slender and pretty much the same shape. I picked two colors and suggested they go wild with finding dresses they liked. I wanted them to have their own that they'd actually like and wear (but I preferred that they pick the same color if they could agree on it). One gave me a basic shape guideline and claimed one of the colors and the other refused to even look. Guess which one complained about what I ended up picking.

]]> By: tiger lili http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-6328 tiger lili Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:59:25 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-6328 My focus is on having an exuberant and casually elegant experience. My bridesmaids' were asked to buy a silk tafetta or silk faille dress from J. Crew in black, in whatever style they wanted. They can wear whatever shoe that want as long as it's not a really bright color. They can also wear whatever accessories they want as well, and hair and make up service is optional and very reasonable if they want it. I just want them to have fun and feel beautiful and feel like themselves. They all have fabulous taste so I really didn't worry. My MOH (my sister) is the biggest challenge since she has already lost a ton of weight and is being fussy about the dresses. She complained that "there are only like a dozen choices!" The other women give me enough support to make up for her! I love them! I think brides need to think about their relationship with their bridesmaids and not their "supporting role". My focus is on having an exuberant and casually elegant experience. My bridesmaids' were asked to buy a silk tafetta or silk faille dress from J. Crew in black, in whatever style they wanted. They can wear whatever shoe that want as long as it's not a really bright color. They can also wear whatever accessories they want as well, and hair and make up service is optional and very reasonable if they want it.

I just want them to have fun and feel beautiful and feel like themselves. They all have fabulous taste so I really didn't worry. My MOH (my sister) is the biggest challenge since she has already lost a ton of weight and is being fussy about the dresses. She complained that "there are only like a dozen choices!" The other women give me enough support to make up for her! I love them!

I think brides need to think about their relationship with their bridesmaids and not their "supporting role".

]]> By: KC http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-6273 KC Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:42:00 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-6273 I am in the process of planning my wedding and I definitly want my "girls" to be happy comfortable and pumped about this great party we are putting on. I am allowing my girls to choose their own hair style, dress styles, shoes etc. my day is about who has got me to this point and i dont want my girls to feel fake, because i have true love for each of them. i dont want to be a demanding bride adn ruin their day! its good to know i'm not the only one with these crazy ideas of being open minded and true :) I am in the process of planning my wedding and I definitly want my "girls" to be happy comfortable and pumped about this great party we are putting on. I am allowing my girls to choose their own hair style, dress styles, shoes etc. my day is about who has got me to this point and i dont want my girls to feel fake, because i have true love for each of them.
i dont want to be a demanding bride adn ruin their day! its good to know i'm not the only one with these crazy ideas of being open minded and true :)

]]> By: Butterbean http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice/comment-page-1#comment-6259 Butterbean Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:58:06 +0000 http://offbeatbride.com/2008/02/offbeat-bridesmaid-advice#comment-6259 <i>I was sort of frustrated that the bride didn’t demand more of me! It was my first bridesmaiding experience and everything I’d read warned me of scary demanding Bridezillas. She just wanted me to order my dress, find some strappy sandals, get my hair done however I wanted IF I wanted and… show up.</i> haha! I can totally relate to this! The minute my friend started sending us bridesmaid e-mails, I would ask if she needed help to plan her bachelorette party, or to pick out her dress. I thought that this would be a fun experience, but the MOH must have thought that I was barging in on her duties and politely told me that they had everything under control. When we finally met together the day before the wedding, it was only for dinner at a restaurant and it was boring and VERY stuffy. I'm not going to be an overbearing bride to my bridesmaids, but I do plan to have a girl's night out and try to involve my girls only if they chose to. I was sort of frustrated that the bride didn’t demand more of me! It was my first bridesmaiding experience and everything I’d read warned me of scary demanding Bridezillas. She just wanted me to order my dress, find some strappy sandals, get my hair done however I wanted IF I wanted and… show up.

haha! I can totally relate to this! The minute my friend started sending us bridesmaid e-mails, I would ask if she needed help to plan her bachelorette party, or to pick out her dress. I thought that this would be a fun experience, but the MOH must have thought that I was barging in on her duties and politely told me that they had everything under control. When we finally met together the day before the wedding, it was only for dinner at a restaurant and it was boring and VERY stuffy.
I'm not going to be an overbearing bride to my bridesmaids, but I do plan to have a girl's night out and try to involve my girls only if they chose to.

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