Changing weddings, one Sharpie at a time
Reader Mail
By
on February 21, 2008
16 Responses
I am a totally offbeat bride wanna-be ... completely trapped in a semi-traditional girl. Last week I sent out save the date cards. Awesome — designed using my Photoshop skills, picture of us, love it. Then came the mailing. I went to Target to buy a sharpie to write the addresses on the envelopes. I almost paid $12 for a pack of 15 Sharpies because I wanted the brown one. Why the brown one? Because it matches the wedding color scheme.
Sometimes I need to be saved from myself. Thanks for the site — it really helps me keep perspective sometimes and be true to who we are and what we want. From reminding myself that it's much more sane to buy a $1 black sharpie to making me feel like it's ok not to want to talk about my wedding 24/7, you're doing wonders for us girls who haven't quite crossed the "I'm wearing a red dress if I damn well please" line yet. So thank you for supporting my semi-independentness. — Les
P.S. I realize that purchasing a black sharpie over a brown one doesn't make me an independent bride, but it shows me that I haven't completely gone over to the dark side.
Les, you are so welcome for the inspiration and perspective. To me, offbeat isn't a toggle switch — it's not an are or aren't. It's not a contest. It's all shades of grey and what's important is thinking for yourself and making decisions based on your own beliefs and values instead of the defaults that are spoon-fed to brides everywhere. Regardless, this site is here to inspire and challenge all brides who need a little more offbeat in their lives ... not just the red dress wearers.
About Ariel Meadow Stallings
Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA.
Sarah said
I love Sharpies. =D
Britt said
Just be thankful it wasn't a "wedding" sharpie. You might have had to auction up your first born to afford it.
Tiffany said
Yay! I know it helps me to hear this reminder.
MelissaKoren said
ok, this may be defeating the purpose, but in case you can't stand it – you can go to A.C. Moore or Michaels or any other craft shop and by the sharpies by the each. I did get brown – $4 for 6 of them!
Kara said
Or any local art supply shop has them in all colors of the rainbow (tho, is brown a color of the rainbow?). It's great to have your day your way, but it's also sooo hard not to get caught up in the whole wedding shopping frenzy – esp when the mainstream wedding gear is getting kinda cooler these days.
KC said
i agree that being off-beat isnt a contest. i am planning my wedding, and i am not ready to make a red-dress committment, tho i think they are stunning its not me. i think being off-beat is all about being urself no matter what others think. during my plans i am removing the "fluff" that others expect from a wedding which i find unnecessary (such as response cards and place cards).
just be urself and plan ur wedding for u and ur fiance – not because everyone else does it and its expected
Shel said
That gave me a great idea! You know sharpie.com lets you customize your sharpies? You could totally use them as STDs or as party favors with your names and date. Oh! I'm excited.
farfelue said
Ha! Welcome and enjoy! Yes it's important to just be yourself, and not cave in to the ridiculous peer and social pressure to buy useless crap or pay a fortune for 'The Day'.
I for one am going the red dress route (Hey a billion chinese and indian brides can't be wrong
but really it should be YOUR day, not submit-to-what- society- expects day. A touch of tradition, a flare of originality and sparks of freshness, voila.
Cate said
You can custonmize Sharpies? AWESOME!!!
Shel said
Helz yea bitches, just got to sharpie.com, I talked my husband into them!
Heather said
Wow. Customizable sharpies just made my WEEK. Yeah, Les, I'm with you. I find myself suddenly obsessing over weird crap and simultaneously hating myself for it. Offbeat Bride = wedding zen.
Tara said
Customized Sharpies are FAB! I just got my fiance a half-dozen of them for Valentine's Day (we're Sharpie whores). I'm getting married in a week – I'm wearing a sixties vintage black, a-line cocktail dress to my wedding.
Do it the way it feels right to you, and don't sweat the little details. When it's over, all people will remember was whether they had fun or not. Seriously.
One Love Photo said
I have to admit, I probably would have bought the big pack just so I could have the brown one. I can really go crazy on little details… but is that such a bad thing? I love this post I can completely relate. But I know in the end I would feel guilty about it but I would have spent the extra $$ to have the BROWN!
Sara said
This is really a lovely letter. One that I really identify with.
Kit said
I would totally have bought the big pack. Then again, I work with markers constantly (and always need new ones because I'm clumsy, lazy and all sorts of other adjectives that mean I frequently can't find the caps and kill them). Yay for sanity though!
blu-k said
It was great to hear this story … I really relate to it. The other day my MIL asked me if I was going to get my teeth whitened for the wedding. I told her I'd never heard anything so ridiculous. But now it seems like every regular wedding website has a 'teeth whitening' page, and i'm starting to get a complex.
So I just go to offbeat bride, breathe out, and save my $$$!