What offbeat grooms want to wear
Offbeat grooms
By
on January 07, 2008
12
I positively adore this thread on the Offbeat Bride social network: What offbeat grooms are wanting to wear. Hint: it ain't a tux!
… All too often non-traditional wedding planning falls along remarkably traditional gender lines, so it's refreshing to see grooms who are so actively involved in envisioning their weddings. I wish there were so many more! We're making progress, but it was depressing to me when I pitched my lit agent with the idea of doing an "Offbeat Groom" partner book, her answer was a simple: "No one buys books for grooms. Except brides. There's just not a market for it." Sad!
Kent, the offbeat groom who started the groom thread, even started an offbeat grooms social network.
About Ariel Meadow Stallings
Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives, loves, and dorks out hard in Seattle, WA.
Lara said
You know, I include a book for brides and a book for grooms in my welcome package… and I've always had the hardest time finding a GOOD book for grooms. They either talk to the groom like he's a total moron, or like he can't fend for himself against his bridezilla, or totally blast brides in general. I don't think it's treating the guys with enough respect – with more guys taking a bigger role in planning their weddings, there'd be a good market for a book that treats guys like they're not the stripper-sniffing, "lie to your bride" jerks most groom stereotypes make them out to be. I do recommend "The Engaged Groom: You're Getting Married. Read This Book." by Doug Gordon, though – it's the only exception to the rule that I've found.
srah said
What is that picture? He is pretty dreamy.
Ariel said
The picture is from the movie Stardust.
Mary T said
OHHhhh! I thought he was a "real" groom and was going to be all, "Is it wrong for me to ogle that groom?!" Wow! Heh.
Jesse said
I think it's great that grroms want to help plan the event of their dreams. Whay should the bride have all the fun? I kept my dress a secret from my groom, so we thought it only fair that I not see his outfit in advance. He wore a grey zoot suit with matching hat, and he enjoyed himself so much more than if he was in "standard uniform".
Dana said
I dunno, maybe it would just need creative marketing. Right now, for instance, there is a Stitch and Bitch companion book called Stitch and Bitch Men, but it's not so much a S&B book *for* men as it is a book of projects to make for men.
So, maybe instead of an Offbeat Groom book for the groom, you could pitch hit as an Offbeat Groom book to get ideas for the male half of the wedding? I know I'd be interested in it… it's hard enough to come up with non-offbeat ideas for him, heh.
Also, if not this year, I bet an Offbeat Groom book would do amazing when gay marriage is finally legalized. Just a thought for you to hold on to… today's market might not bear your book, but tomorrow's might be perfect.
Anyways. I'd love to see suggestions for grooms! We're having a Purple Rain themed wedding, and I just can't get past the idea of putting him in a ruffled Victorian shirt and a purple sequined jumpsuit. Rawr!
Kat said
That's my fiancee! I'm so proud of him. I think it's fantastic that he has such an interest. I don't see why not- it's his party too! And I know there are more guys out there like him, who want to be involved but are conditioned to think that's dangerous territory. Let's start the new wave. Offbeat Brides and Grooms take over the wedding industry!
Kathleen said
oh Kent! Yr an Offbeat Superstar!
Maybe you should remind your lit agent that GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN CANADA and that there are plenty of men out there interested in having a genuine representation of their commitment to their partner. xo
I totally agree with Dana's point about a bigger Offbeat Groom audience for gay men. One of my bridesmen is gay and had the most wonderful ideas for his wedding which sadly didn't happen
Amnesia said
My groom wanted to be involved but didn't want to be the coordinating person — and it was really interesting. There were quite a few things he piped up on that surprised me (and some that I thought he'd be more interested in) .. he wanted the napkins at the reception folded into samurai helmets (which we did) and he wanted his own entrance and entrance song (also incorporated) but he was less interested in drafting the vows (!) I will say that planning together meant some compromises to get us to the same place at times — his first choice for attire would have been medieval armor but cost and practicality meant we didn't go that route.
Mary T said
Now on topic, you know, when we were planning our wedding–and we actually hired someone to help us with all the crazy-making details–my husband participated in all of it. It never occured to us that he wouldn't be interested in where we'd have the ceremony or what kind of chairs we'd order or how we'd decorate. That's crazy. Yet the wedding planner told us that she liked working with us so much, because usually she never even met the groom until the day of the wedding.
elliot said
Future groom here: not only am I not afraid of being involved, I've always expected to be. Now mind you, I'm a city planner by training, so planning and ceremony is in my blood, but not all of us are sitting in the family room watching football till the big day.
(one hint: storm chasing as a joint bachelor/bachelorette party is not terribly feasible.)