Comments on: Brides behaving badly online

By: MidwestElle

MidwestElle — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 23:58:27 +0000

I think everyone needs to spend a day trolling around this website. You'll feel so much better about being yourself. Thanks, everyone!

By: Naomi

Naomi — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 12:13:02 +0000

While I am someone who wants a white dress and pink bridesmaids, and I doubt there will be anything particularly unique at my wedding, now that I have discovered offbeatbride.com I am avoiding all traditional wedding sites like the plague. I find far more helpful advice and ideas on this site.

Thank you Ariel for freeing me from my assumptions. Until your site I never questioned any of the elements that you are told are what makes a wedding a wedding. (NO, what makes a wedding a wedding is the part where you make vows to your partner in front of supportive witnesses.) I just assumed you had to have bridesmaids, flowers, a reception, favors. I might still incorporate some of those things, but it will be because I have decided they are meaningful to me. And I will know that they are really just for decorative purposes.

That said, even with my fairly conventional wedding I'm getting heaps of criticism and shocked looks. "But who's going to walk you down the aisle then?" (Um, last time I checked, I could walk twenty metres just fine all by myself without someone's help.) "But you have to decorate the church or else people won't know it's a wedding." (I want my home church to feel familiar, the way it does every Sunday, I don't want it draped in some strange white alien costume, plus its unnecessary environmental waste.) I'm frugal and want the reception to be immediate family only (given that my fiance is Italian and could easily invite 200 obligatory relatives he doesn't really know otherwise) "But people might not come to the wedding if they're not invited to the reception" (Fine, don't come, why should I worry about that? They should have been grateful to be invited to be present at such a personal event, and if they're only there for the food then I don't think I want them there after all).

I'm so impressed with the couples here who have the integrity to not buy into commercial advertising and instead truly reflect on their values and what actually does and doesn't matter to them.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:56:26 +0000

Hey Erin.
Don't worry about the ppl that don't like it. it's YOUR wedding. I've delt with judgment from my soon-to-be-in-laws since days one. I'm a woman that wants to get into animation and special effects and has no plans on having kids any time soon, and his family doesn't even know why i'm in university…apparently i should be staying at home taking care of my finacee……so when they asked if i had started wedding planning, my "friends" and soon-to-be-in-laws didnt like the idea of a no-white dress, it not being in a church, me not taking his last name…..I've been called so many things behind my back that has wound up coming back to my ears somehow. Do what makes you happy. Find people that will recognize it is your wedding and give you constructive ideas keeping in mind you may not want to be conventional. These people ended up being my finacee and my mother…and this site and book lol. If you do your thing girl it will be one of the most memorable days when you look back on it…you wont be going "why did i listen to her and use that corny idea i/he/she looks so stupid" lol

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:57:26 +0000

Thank you guys so much for all of your support and kind words… I get warm fuzzies everytime I log on here and see more wonderful open-minded women backing me up. I have officially joined offbeatbride.ning and am LOVING all the great ideas! Y'all know how to make a girl feel special!

By: Lily

Lily — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 22:36:17 +0000

It so sad to me that people can be so intolerant. My honey had a real life encounter like that. A woman he works with found out that he's a practicing pagan, and that we are planing a handfasting. She went off on him at length about how our wedding won't be ligitimate, and that because of his beliefs our relationship will be "soaked in sin". Along with some other BS not worth mentioning.

There are people out there who hate things they don't understand, and who don't make the effort to understand much outside of what they are hand fed. They are easily threated by the idea that other people live off beat lives, and get angry when we choose not to fall into line.

Be happy in the knowledge that you've found someone to build a life with, and know that *your* friends and family are all that matter. Not some close minded hos on the internet .

By: Jillian

Jillian — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:51:36 +0000

Even though you didn't say which site it was, I'm going to guess it was The S(K)not. I've heard horror stories from people who have blogged on there before. Way too many ladies who want perfect pink weddings and who have no tolerance for anyone who does anything different.
Honestly, just ignore those ridiculous girls and realize that there are a lot of us ladies who love the unusual and are eager to support one of our own (I for one would love to see your plans).
Screw those nasty women and rock on with your planning!

By: Matthia

Matthia — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:49:38 +0000

I had a really similar experience, only I wasn't the one being picked on. It was on some wedding forum somewhere and someone said the were thinking about not getting officially married at their wedding because of work things or something and EVERYBODY on the forum jumped all over her! They said the guests would be pissed and people would expect their GIFTS BACK (!!!) when they found out. I mean, WHAT? anyways, that;s what did it for me. I haven;t gone back. Trust me, you're in a much better place now!!

By: zan

zan — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:34:22 +0000

Hey Erin, if it makes you feel better just remember that these are the women who go into such horrible debt that it takes them 3 years or more to pay it off. They don't want a marriage, but just a wedding. They will never be happy and to be honest, they will most likely end up in divorce. How do I know that? Well, it is because obviously things are not going to well for them to be bashing someone else who is happy on their own terms. You just do what ever you want and I wish someone would say I looked like a stripper. Hell, girl, that means you have a killer body. LOL! They are just some jealous heffas!

By: Pazz

Pazz — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:09:29 +0000

Some people feel threatened when another person has awesome, unique ideas. I guess they feel that their cookie cutter lifestyle is being threatened by your individuality. So they lash out and try make you feel like rubbish.

Its childish and very, very 'highschool' of them.

Be yourself and screw everyone else, its not your fault that they are all boring, uncreative bitches.

By: kat

kat — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:29:57 +0000

eugh erin that sucks! booo to the bitchy bridezillas. from what i can tell from your letter your ideas sound amazing and sexy and i'd love to get a peek of some of you ideas! dont let the cookie cutter unoriginal brides get you down and be yourself!