Video Advice #2
Offbeat Bride Advice #2 from arielmeadow on Vimeo.
Three offbeat bride questions get answered this time:
- Can I have multiple wedding showers in different cities?
- Do I have to have his bratty niece in the ceremony?
- And if I’m keeping my last name, how should we be presented after the ceremony?
Comments
15 responses to this entryLiz
October 24th, 2007 · 7:52 AM · #God I wish this site had been around in 1991 when my brother got married. They had the 3 year old flower girl who cried completely through the ceremony, where I was 6 and wanted that job so badly!! I was a program passer-outer.
Jennifer
October 24th, 2007 · 8:42 AM · #Hooray for small victories, I got copies of your book added to the collections of The New York Public Library (where I work.)
Lexi
October 24th, 2007 · 8:48 AM · #My hubby and I each kept our last names. We didn’t make a big deal out of it at the wedding (didn’t want to get into agitated discussions about a decision that isn’t really anyone else’s business), so whenever we were referred to, we kept it first names only: “here’s the happy couple: Lexi and Randy!” No one seemed to notice or mind (copious quantities of imperial stout may have helped that situation…)
kate
October 24th, 2007 · 10:45 AM · #I agree with Lexi about using first names; I have to disagree with Ariel on the Ms & Mr thing. That sounds like you’re being crazy formal with people who just watched one of the more intimate moments in your life. I think it’s usually only done “Mr & Mrs” because it’s *new*; since your Mr & Ms walking in, it seems weird to me.
But ultimately, whatever makes you happy is what you should do.
Ariel
October 24th, 2007 · 11:06 AM · #Lexi: love the first names introduction! Skips right over the whole last name thing.
Kate, you’ve got a good point about the fact that they were Mr. and Ms. before the ceremony, and are Mr. and Ms. after. I guess that’s true of their first names, too.
Maybe I should change my advice to suggsting, “TADA! Here are the newlyweds!”
Susheela
October 24th, 2007 · 11:55 AM · #I could be wrong, but aren’t they Mr and Miss going in and Mr and Ms coming out?
kelleyatbrideorama
October 24th, 2007 · 1:18 PM · #Use the casual first name intro, but before it, have your DJ say “And now, for the first time ever, here they are..as husband and wife… Dan and Kathy!” That way it doesnt sound SO casual and it gives you the feeling of …Wow! We are married!
Therese (Air's mom)
October 24th, 2007 · 1:38 PM · #I like the way Sassy ’stars’ on this clip, laying on the couch wiggling, desparate for rubs! Great prop.
Me
October 24th, 2007 · 5:18 PM · #Susheela: Ms. is a neutral term, like Mr. It’s used so that one doesn’t know whether you’re married or not (just like you don’t know if a Mr. is married or not just by the title). Miss indicates that you’re not married; Mrs. that you’re married — but the latter kinda only works if you change your last name, I guess (that is, you can’t be Mrs. MaidenName). Because I’m not changing my name, I’m going to be Ms. MyLastName before AND Ms. MyLastName afterward — just like my honey will be Mr. Honey before AND after.
Susheela
October 24th, 2007 · 7:10 PM · #ah, makes sense — thanks for clearing that up
Kung Foodie Kat
October 25th, 2007 · 12:34 AM · #the easy way out…no DJ or any bothersome traditional mic introductions!!! I’m the causal girl…beside I figure my guests already know who we are (LOL).
Sam
October 25th, 2007 · 9:26 PM · #As a student of Child Development can I just say that asking any 3 year old to do anything that involves solemnity or holding still for more than 2 minutes is asking for it. I think your best bet is putting her at the gift table! She can squeal about pretty wrapping and meet everyone. OR, just say “no kids in the ceremony.” No one gets their feelings hurt and it doesn’t seem like you’re playing favorites.
michelle
November 12th, 2007 · 6:18 AM · #When it comes to flower girls the age makes a difference. The minimum age for a flower girl should be seven. Any younger and the child won’t really understand what’s going on. In my situation, my sister insists that my niece be a flower girl but she’ll only be two when the wedding takes place! She would barely be able to pronounce my name let alone walk down the aisle.
As for the last name issue…again, a touchy situation. The best way to introduce yourselves, in my opinion, is by first names only. But, you must do what makes you comfortable.
Carla
November 17th, 2007 · 1:59 AM · #Agh, thanks for answering my question! (I get into random wedding-planning bouts every few weeks, get sick of it, forget about it, then start over by checking back on all my favorite sites when the wedding bug bites me again 3 weeks later.)
As far as announcing the couple, I had thought about “and now.. the newlyweds!” or “Carla and John!” or whatever, but it is important to me that everyone realize that I kept - ahem, both of us kept our last names. We just live in an area where it’s assumed the woman will take the man’s name, and I’d rather make it clear from the get go than have to correct people later.
That being said, I do agree with you that getting into reasons behind name taking is can be unpleasant and confrontational. So, I guess I’ll just be Ms. Hansen, and if people don’t pick up on that, fine. I just won’t respond to Mrs. Smith. =)
Also, I never knew that Ms did NOT apply to a woman who didn’t take her husband’s name. I always thought it could be used by any woman at any point. So, nice to know! (Although at this point I wonder if I can break the rules and be Mrs. Hansen - just like I told my best friend and maid of honor that when I’m in her wedding - which she assures me I will be - that I shall still be referred to as a maid of honor.. not a matron of honor. blech, grandma-y.)
Shina
December 18th, 2007 · 4:23 PM · #I’ve been catching up and I just wanted to say that this is really good advice. Everyone who knows me knows I won’t be changing my name, so I think I’ll go with the first name intro, and just correct anyone (cough..his conservative youth pastor brother..cough) who says otherwise that I’m still Ms. Me. As for the flower girl thing, I’m so glad I had a boy. He’s 5, and he’ll e walking me down the aisle then going to sit with my mother and the best man will have the rings.