The offbeat bride: Janelle, writer

My offbeat groom: Matt, professor

Location & date of wedding: Forest and backyard behind my parents’ house in Battle Ground, WA; July 21, 2001

What made our wedding offbeat: We had a Quaker ceremony. Everyone sat facing one another in a circle, holding silence until moved to speak. In the Quaker tradition, there are no ministers as they believe all are equal before god. This means that everyone at your wedding is considered an officiant — anyone can talk during the ceremony, everyone signs the wedding certificate. [If you're interested in some background, you can read about Quaker weddings over here. -Ed.]

My best friend from childhood wrote the music for the processional and recessional, which was played by a professional string quartet (set up on the creek-bank).

After the wedding, we all walked up to the deck behind my parents’ home for food, liquor and dancing. My husband was in sandals, I was barefoot, and the food was delicious. We danced to music we’d burned onto CDs, and had ice cream cake as our wedding cake.

We had no posed photographs at our wedding — that has always been my least favorite part of any wedding. Instead, we hired an amazing photographer who specializes in candid shots /photojournalism. Our pictures were FANTASTIC. Everything looked genuine and unstaged and exactly as I remembered it. (He even caught the dog stealing a sample of the cake.)

Our biggest challenge: My family (the bride’s, that is) is very conservative and very Christian. My husband is a Buddhist, and his family is not terribly religious. Finding a way to include everyone without offending anyone was tricky. The Quaker ceremony was perfect — my parents could say whatever they wanted to make it “real” for them, and so could everyone else. A good portion of the ceremony (like most Quaker services) was in silence, which provided the feel of meditation as well.

My favorite moment: During the early part of the ceremony, when most people were still feeling uncomfortable with the silence and not sure how to relax, my parents’ cat jumped up on someone’s lap and started walking from lap to lap to lap. Everyone tried not to laugh — until I cracked up. Then everyone got giggling. The cat ended up walking across about fifteen people before hopping down and moving off to other pursuits. We were all giggling for a few minutes, and it broke all the tension that had been there and set exactly the right mood for the rest of the ceremony and reception.

I picked three and only three things to have perfect. Everything else I either delegated or refused to allow myself to get stressed/worked up/involved with.

My offbeat advice: The best advice I got was to pick three and only three things to want to have perfect. I chose photography, my dress, the music. Everything else I either delegated or refused to allow myself to get stressed/worked up/involved with.

The best advice I can give is to just have fun. We had such a blast at our wedding, and that’s all either of us wanted.

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn: Take in the beauty of this quiet backyard wedding.

Tell me all about your offbeat wedding!