Diamond as dick size
My fiancé gave me an engagement ring that I absolutely love. It is a unique eco-friendly band accompanied by a nice rock which is really just icing on the cake and just that. What I really value is the artistic design of the band itself as no two designs are alike.
When I shared my new engagement ring excitement with a girlfriend, I explained to her the artistic design/eco materials’ significance of the ring. She interrupted and asked what size my rock was. Upon learning that I have a 1carat diamond, she then complained to her man for not getting her a diamond of such size. She appeared to have no interest in my story of the ring design itself and was only concerned with rock sizes. How do I politely school/check other people who are obviously unappreciative of art, eco-friendly design and are more concerned with what is on top? —Rebecca
First, a slight caution: you’re walking a delicate line when call attention to something (in this case a ring) and then get frustrated when people don’t admire it in the ways you want. You add an extra layer of complexity when you discuss the size of the diamond you supposedly don’t care about.
See, when you talk exact carats, you’re getting into the dick-size game, whether you mean to or not. It’s sort of like pulling down your pants and saying, “Oh that? My 10.75-inch-long penis? Ignore that — I’m trying to tell about you my scrotal piercing!” Many of us are conditioned to fixate on cock rock size, and when you provide an exact size measurement, you’re not furthering your “it doesn’t matter to me!” cause.
So — the next time a friend asks you how big the diamond is, if you really don’t care, just shrug and say “I don’t actually know.” Then get back to talking abut the artistry and eco-friendliness of the design. You’re not only refusing to play the numbers game, you’re also making it clear that it’s of oh-so little importance to you that you don’t even know the exact size — which will hopefully deflate some of the consumer lust from the situation.
Comments
23 responses to this entryriona
May 29th, 2007 · 10:24 PM · #OMG, that’s exactly what it is. I was always taken aback when people would ask me what size my diamond was, and I always said just what you suggest: I don’t know. But several people - not just one - have grabbed my hand and examined my ring before pronouncing “Very nice” as if it had just passed some kind of test or something.
Rebecca
May 30th, 2007 · 12:56 PM · #Great feedback/advice, thank you! Next time someone asks of size, I will simply respond with, “I don’t know.” It’s probably the safest response I can go with!
Thanks again.
Ariel
May 30th, 2007 · 12:59 PM · #…Or you could answer “Oh that? That’s my 10.75-inch-long cock — er, I’m sorry. What were we talking about again?” That’s SURE to get ‘em off the subject.
Kelly Mahoney
May 30th, 2007 · 7:43 PM · #You can always walk around with a ring pop. Think about it: When someone comments on your ring, you can say “Would you like a taste?”
navkat
May 31st, 2007 · 11:25 AM · #Fuck engagement rings.
B-Veiled
June 12th, 2007 · 5:07 AM · #You know, I wondered about that kind of thing for years. I used to work in the jewelry industry and the “rule of thumb,” yech, that was completely the invention of the DeBeers diamond people, is that your ring should cost 3 months’ salary. But is that 3 months’s salary for a brain surgeon or a high-school English teacher? Isn’t that kind of relative? Does landing a surgeon entitle a woman to a bigger, more ostentatious ring than if she “settled” for someone with less earning power? That whole deal just made me cringe every time some poor dude walked into the store to check out the solitaires.
In fact, the idea of engagement rings, period, has always seemed kind of silly. First of all, after you’re married an engagement ring is useless. What’s it for, anyway? To mark his territory? As collateral in case he doesn’t fulfill his promise? As a deposit on future affection?
The other thing that seems ponderous is how hackeneyed that particular idiom is. No matter what a designer does with the engagement ring style, it’s still a diamond solitaire on some kind of band. The very worst are the 1/4 carat 4-prong mounts on thin bands that are cranked out by the hundreds and sold at Sears.
The man who buys that for his intended is telling her that his love for her is exactly like every love that has ever existed and she (and said love) are absolutely not special, unique or original at all, because if that ring is a symbol of his feelings, then that’s what tha ring is saying. Props to your man for doing something original and thoughtful - I really am in support of that, and think it’s great that you love him, and your ring, and I hope this all doesn’t come across as too snarky.
My own ring? I didn’t have one. Like I said, I think it’s kind of a waste of money and there is no engagement ring style invented on earth that I wanted to wear, so I got a very expensive wedding ring instead. It’s 22 karat gold, granulated, and has a custom-cut buff-top rectangular red garnet set in a high bezel box. People stop me on the street to look at it, and so far no one’s asked the size, cost or carat weight involved. You just go ahead and tell people you don’t know. Or get really bold and tell them it’s 10 carats but it’s wearing a girdle today because it’s afraid of looking fat.
Jarrett
June 14th, 2007 · 12:07 PM · #Nice allusion.
I would like to think I didn’t do badly in either department.
annie
June 17th, 2007 · 12:42 PM · #i told my fiance v firmly many years ago that there was room for only one ring on my hands. my wedding ring.
Lara
June 20th, 2007 · 6:28 PM · #It is driving me a little nuts that most of the answers on here have to do with lying. “I dont know” is a blatant lie. I prefer to say “Oh, well, that doesnt really matter to me, I am more excited about the design.” My ring (yes i have a diamond ring and i LOOOOVE IT) was hand made by my mother for my grandmother when she got re-married in the late 60’s. It was the first ring that my mother ever made so it is not cemetrical and i have not ever seen anything even close to it. When my lovely lady (if she is looking i mean my rough tough butch) told my mother that she was going to ask me to marry her my mother gave it to her. long story short she wanted there to be something new mixed in with the old so she had some work done on it and bought a raher large diamond (wholesale from an old dealer my father knew) to put in it. When someone asks me about the weight i either tell them and then get back to the story or i dont tell them and get back to the story. I decide what is important about my ring. There is no need to lie.
Holy shit, that was really snarky. sorry. I am just easily excited :o\
Shina
July 10th, 2007 · 8:03 AM · #Seeing as how there are no diamonds that are actually eco-friendly…I went for the Herkimer diamond which is a very clear quartz crystal. It keeps you out of the c/rock size game and focuses on the ecofriendliness. Personally, I think you’re a little more infatuated with the carat size than you’re leading on to be.
Jen
July 18th, 2007 · 10:56 AM · #Strange, it’s kinda like a reverse pissing contest here. My ring is more eco-friendly, non traditional, cost less…. Your still playing the same game as the girls with the big rocks!
Matthia
July 19th, 2007 · 5:47 PM · #see, i’m kind of like a magpie and am attracted to anything sparkly and therefore looooove my ring. However, I did get my fiance one…I never really thought it was fair that I got a rock and he didn’t.
I haven’t actually had anyone ask me for my measurements yet, but I think I would also go with the whole “I don’t know” thing…I mean, it’s a little rude right? It’s like asking what if cost. I don’t go around asking people how much their earrings cost…
kate the great
July 22nd, 2007 · 12:01 PM · #My ring is an antique European solitaire from the 1930s. The diamond is a quarter carat, and the band is pink gold. We got it at an estate jeweler. When people see it, they most often call it “cute” and seem to think it’s rather sad that I couldn’t afford a better ring.
That’s never made any sense to me. My ring has history. It isn’t ostentatious. It cost $500, which we pooled our money to afford. To me, it’s perfect.
Karen
August 6th, 2007 · 9:09 PM · #My ring is, as said above, a 1/4 ct., 4-prongs, on a thin band, regular engagement ring. At about $300, it was what we could afford, and I love it.
Surprisingly, the only person who’s asked the size was the lady at the “showroom” when she was taking my resizing order. I thought the general population would be a lot ruder than that, although I will concede to getting a couple of “cutes”. But fuck ‘em, if they want me to have a bigger/better ring, they should have contributed if they care so much.
tammy
September 2nd, 2007 · 7:39 PM · #I actually don’t know anything about diamonds, so if I say “I don’t know” it’s completely honest.
Actually, I’ve made it perfectly clear that I don’t want a diamond. I don’t even know if I want a stone in mine. I do want a ring, but it doesn’t have to have a stone in it for me to be happy. I suppose if it doesn’t have a stone I won’t get anyone asking what size it is…but I’m sure I’ll get the “you poor thing” comment.
Because Omigod, every woman wants a big-ass diamond! /sarcasm
:o)
Kristina
October 12th, 2007 · 2:32 PM · #What I don’t understand is some of the judgment associated with it. If people choose not to have an engagement ring, more power to them, but why does it make you less of a person to value tradition? Or, to just want an excuse to buy someone you love something sparkley to commemorate the moment when you asked them to be your partner in life. If it’s not for you, then great, but why say others are less for liking it?
Gertie
December 11th, 2007 · 10:05 AM · #hehe…some traditions/expectations are whack! My Grandma still uses the phrase, “She got her diamond” when someone gets engaged! GAG!! (unless she secretly means ’she found her one-in-a-million-lifemate’ ~doubtful!)
Anyhoo…love my Grandma, but some things are ingrained, i guess!
Lana
December 19th, 2007 · 7:32 PM · #Hey Tammy…I decided that I wanted NO diamond, no stone whatsoever…and I get hella compliments on my heavy-duty wide hammered gold band all the time. It’s my engagement ring, soon to be called “my wedding ring”. Same ring, yo.
There have been a couple of rude comments such as “that’s not an engagement ring, where’s the diamond?” but for the most part people (especially men) have loved it. Women have been most likely to wrinkle the nose, but whatever. It’s not their ring, it’s mine.
farfelue
December 21st, 2007 · 11:05 PM · #kheh I proposed to my dear, so he gets to wear a ring (an eccentric double-ring I picked up at a mom and pop store). He loves it too. I’m just waiting for the ‘real’ ring. They’ll be simple silver bands.
ange
January 15th, 2008 · 2:49 PM · #I have had similar experiences. Some people ask about the 4Cs. I don’t know. I don’t care.
“But let me tell you about the history…” Some people are interested and some aren’t. Again, I don’t care.
I have been caught staring at my ring a few times. I will admit to it, but it has nothing to do with the size or stone. I am really excited about what the ring symbolizes.
I am so freaking giddy that we are getting married! (I never thought I would be so excited about a wedding)
86 the bows and matching dresses, please!
eliza
January 22nd, 2008 · 8:26 PM · #i love that you totally called that girl out on her veiled excuse for bragging about her carat size. a little self-awareness, pls brides!
Kit
July 18th, 2008 · 8:33 PM · #I don’t love how you called that bride out. It’s not like 1carat is bragging rights anyway. She knows how big it is and that’s no surprise; most indie brides at least help pick their rings. I’m also not big on just plain lying. Brushing it off by saying you don’t care, fine, and if talking to people you don’t give a crap about, go ahead and lie, but just because it’s not particularly relevant doesn’t mean you’re not going to know. H3ll, knowing diamond sizing could just be a result of understanding how to make jewelry, like my dad. And as for no diamonds being ecofriendly, it’s true, that’s not complete bull. They have to be harvested somehow. But Canadian diamonds, for example, do an excellent job caring for the environment when removing their rocks. You can get extra eco-cred for choosing not to dig up pieces of the earth, but don’t pretend like you’re a goddess because you did what you wanted.
Ryan
August 2nd, 2008 · 11:12 PM · #Wow, it’s pretty much just straight up douchey to say something to the effect of if your fiancee buys you a ring from a mainstream jeweler, he thinks you’re just like everyone else and his love for you is nothing special.
I understand the objection to this obsession over karats and the feeling that a traditional engagement ring is an absolute necessity. But passing so much judgment on the subject and making assumptions about someone’s feelings or character based on an OBJECT is just as shallow and materialistic as declaring anything less than a 2 karat ring from Tiffany’s unacceptable.
It’s jewelry, guys. Nothing more.