I'm a man. I couldn't always tell if the commenters were men or women, so I thought I'd put that on the table.

First, one of my concerns with names was air travel. That may sound silly, but I've heard paperwork horror stories about parents trying to fly with different names from their kids. That said, I'm reading about name changes, listening to your show, and from everything I see more and more people are getting creative: men taking wive's names, making up new names, merging names. I have one friend who changed his name to HisFirst HerLast and dropped HisFirst entirely. As it becomes more and more the norm, it will become less hassle in official situations, like air travel. Kids can hyphenate or have the man or woman's last name. I am glad to see momentum here and glad it's becoming mainstream.

Second, we're discussing name changes, and I want to keep MyLast as my professional name. Part of it is that I hate paperwork, the less the better. But more importantly, I realize, it's important to me that the MyLastName get credit for the work I do. I'm very progressive, and already decided to give my kids her last name, talking about changing mine, and I certainly don't buy into the idea that being creative and flexible is emasculating. The tree that can bend in the wind does not break. That said, my family has done so much for me, and supported me so that I might achieve what I have. I want to honor my family in that way. So if I do a name change, I'll keep MyLast as a middle name and use it as my professional identity.

Third, so why change my name? I actually just like the idea of having a consistent name. I also like the symbolism of creating a name together. To me, it's a good thing to do as a team. I'm an artist, so aesthetics matter and I like her name.

I'm not certain what we'll do, but I really like some of the ideas here, especially the ones where they both take each others' names.

I hope that more married couples (of any orientation) take the time to consider what they want to do, and then do it!

I'm young (early 20s), and that doesn't mean I have less sense of myself- I'm strong in who I am and I know what I want.

My lover has a Joe Smith type of name, there's 8 people with his first name at his workplace and because his name is so very common he gets mixed up all the time.

He was going to take my name, recognizing how important it was to my career (I work in the arts) and how I chose it myself. He just wanted to clear it with his parents- and his father had very strong ideas to the contrary. He called it emasculating.

Now, my lover really wants us to have a unified name, doesn't want to offend his father by taking my name, and doesn't want me to give up my name (he knows I don't want to- and probably wouldn't). So he's suggested hyphenation.

I was hyphenated as a kid, I did it, it worked, there was some drama, but whatever- the point is- I don't want to now. I like my new two-name self. Our kids can have three names.

I go back and forth, I want to make him happy (this is big). Many of our other big decisions worked out the way I wanted to (where we're going to live, etc.)

I also feel very strongly about keeping my name.

(I also just don't like the sound of his).

It's something I'm making sense of, as best I can.

No hyphens. And yes, people were confused, payroll was confused, people stuck hyphens in where they didn't belong… people got over it.

If I were 20, I probably *would* have changed my name because my real sense of identity didn't kick in 'till rather recently. At 38, there's no way I'm changing it now.

And anyway, it would throw off my entire online persona: "missbhavens" is a happy accident. If I'm no longer a Havens, then the cutesy screenname doesn't fly.

I've even suggested hyphenating, which TOTALLY doesn't work because his last name is a two-parter already. I've asked him to change his. No go.

He's a reasonable guy in other aspects of life, but he's a big fat baby about this.

I'm at a loss.