Thanks for this excerpt. As far as brides go, I was about as offbeat as they come (I wore black knee-high boots, got married in an adorable courthouse with 10 family members in tow, and carried orange gerbera daisies), but I did choose to take my husband’s last name. His last name is easier to spell, easier to pronounce, and just sounds much better than my own. I also didn’t feel particularly attached to my last name because it was my mostly-absentee father’s name. I did, however, want to keep it as a second middle name, but found when I went to the DMV to get a new driver’s license that their computer system will only take three names! I like my middle name (Rose) too much to give it up, so my father’s name had to go. I was surprised at the identity crisis changing my name caused. I still have trouble recognizing my new name or remembering to use it. When I went to the bank to change my name on my account, I accidentally signed my old last name instead of my new one. It’s strange to think, though, that in 28 years I will have had my new name longer than my old, and it will probably just seem like who I am.

Sorry you didn’t enjoy the excerpt, Mimi. I’m open to talking with you more about the subject if you want to email me — but I hope we can avoid this comment thread becoming a debate about who can or can’t write about feminism appropriately. There are plenty of other websites (I Blame The Patriarchy comes to mind) where one can debate who gives feminism a bad name — offbeatbride.com isn’t intended to be one of them.

More about the costs associated for men changing their last names over here.